Sometimes I forget I am actually crazy. I’m always shocked when someone points out irrational behavior or unhealthy habits. I am trying so hard to maintain control over this. I’m held prisoner inside of my own head and its maximum security; no way out. I try to warn people up front that I haven’t learned to tame myself…I really just want peace of mind. I don’t want to be driven by impulse. I’ve lost control of this plane and I’m nosediving, hurtling towards my death at hundreds of miles per hour. I don’t know how to get free.