I Hope There’s No Camera in the Break Room

Day 1: Uncomfortable Incidences

            Got lost on my way to the bathroom (this is a given)

            Accidentally knocked down paper towel roll

It appears some of my cheap ass nail polish has smeared onto a few  documents

 I’ve squoze back into my little work pencil skirt and here I am, behind a desk again. The awesome upside is that because I’m specialized in the accounting field I get paid a little bit more than the average temp to essentially do the same filing and data entry crap. For this I am grateful! I’m sure I don’t have to share exactly how and why temp work absolutely sucks. For starters, I’ve met everyone on staff via awkward hellos as they were en route to the breakroom and/or bathroom. Also, you have to get a key from the receptionist to use the bathroom and I’m just not sure Mary and I are that close where she should be privy to my bathroom habits.

This morning I walked into the break room and the very first thing I noticed was the huge screen tv in the corner and a bottle of wine next to the coffee pot– things were looking up! However, microwaving my leftovers for lunch I noticed there was organic ketchup in the condiments drawer soooo I’m just hoping to successfully avoid the person that belongs to. (Organic ketchup = douchebag). I’m working for these cute little ladies that are all chatty and no clear directions. They’re so busy they barely wait to even listen to all I have to say before they’re moving on to the next thing– which works for me because I trail off the end of my sentences anyway because lazy. The major dilemma of the morning is that my breath smelled appalling. I usually keep gum in my purse but I had to swap out my hippie “Jerusalem” sack that my parents gave me when they went to Israel, for a regular purse and some stuff got lost in the transition. So, I’m towering over these tiny women with my awful breath and I think I know what a fire breathing dragon feels like.  You know, minus the power of setting people on fire to get what I want. Wow, this is starting to sound crazy!  Goodbye for now, I’ll keep you posted on day two.

Notes to self:

-Stop saying “yeah” say “yes.”

-Maybe less eyeliner tomorrow, your eyes keep watering.

-Bring snacks, you are HUNGRY!

-Remember the high powered electric stapler makes a loud noise and try not to shit yourself every.single. time you staple something!

–Ur Homie

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “I Hope There’s No Camera in the Break Room

  1. Hahahahahahahahahaha. I’m laughing with you, not at you.

    Make sure to bring snacks that wont’ increase your trips to the bathroom, Mary won’t be happy!

    • I forgot to bring snacks today, too! If I.had known the sandwich in the fridge belonged to another temp I would have eaten it!

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