Temporary Insanity

 Day 3: Random Things from Today

Dude this morning dancing on the metro pole like a stripper.

Chatting with the receptionist turned into a story about how she tried to break the cycle of her family having children out of wedlock by trying to coerce her daughter into having an abortion. She then proceeded to show me pics of her grand daughter…

I must stop answering compliments with, “Yeah, I know. I’m so ridiculous”

I swear it was 10:30 A.M. for three hours!! Did anyone else notice that???

The other temp insisted on introducing himself to me. He cornered me in the breakroom and decided to tell me his whole back story. That’s one more person I have to fake smile at whenever I walk back to my office and say things like “Hanging in there?” *insert chortle here*. Anyway, he was attempting to have a conversation with me and I completely forgot that some people don’t understand sarcasm. After telling me he just came back from spending three years in Eastern Europe (maybe narrow it down, please? Not everyone is into geography!) my response was, “Oh, so you’ve just lived a boring life before moving to DC and working for the temp agency.” He just kind of looked at me like I was some stupid, uneducated bitch—which I am, but I don’t want to be looked at that way! He then proceeded to leave the microwave door open and it beeped for the rest of my lunch break. FML, dude!

 I spent most of the day listening to my supervisor apologize to me for making me do such menial tasks. My guess is that she took another look at my resume and realized that I’m a bit over qualified to be spending my days assembling bankers boxes and folding and stuffing envelopes. She really is just the sweetest lady, though I’m a little skeptical now because of the company she keeps. Today she went to lunch with the lady who laughs obnoxiously loud and snorts in derision. I don’t like people who snort in derision.  I am also not entirely sure derision is a word. (Unrelated: I don’t like people who use vocabulary they are clearly unfamiliar with).

I hope tomorrow is bring your flask to work day…

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3 thoughts on “Temporary Insanity

  1. Your week is going great!! My first day (Monday) I slipped on some water and fell on the floor. So now when people see me, they have the awkward “damn that bitch fell, is the right side of her body ok?” face. There isn’t enough tequila in pg county to solve my week!!

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