Sometimes life is about sitting gingerly perched across a bench at Starbucks and praying to God your zipper doesn’t pop before your job interview. Just as I thought that maybe– JUST MAYBE– I had not gained that much weight, I had gathered all of my “big girl” clothes out of the closet only to find that I can’t fit in them! A year ago this would have been my suicide note but I’m doing better now mentally so I may as well do better physically. To the gym! (Ironically, I think my ass looks great– all big and luscious– but the ass my stomach is creating in the front is not as appealing).

I’m writing this by hand on the back of the overdraft notice from my bank and I’m thinking two things. 1. I’m black, female and overweight, does this make me a triple minority, thus a prime candidate for affirmative action? If so, YES PLEASE! 2. Someone whose opinion inexplicably matters to me checked out a few posts and casually mentioned that I don’t really have a point in any of my entries. Ouch! The point is, ladies and gentleman (probably only one dude reads this anyway) is that there is no point. I’m just a mildly insane girl trying to keep my head together as my world around me falls apart. I’m doing my best to keep you all engaged and entertained along the way– but my main purpose is to bleed all over this thing in a desperate attempt to avoid yet another breakdown. I just want what everyone else wants: to eat what I want and look like a video ho, to have an awesome job that pays a bunch, and a hot guy that can keep his dick in his pants around other women. Pretty simple stuff 😉