Apparently, my little ass cheeks are causing quite the controversy. I write this post cheekily (pun intended) because I don’t know what the hell else to do. Something I was compelled to do artistically has caused a bit of a stir– which is to be expected, I suppose– and I was not prepared for the backlash. So, I’m a whore now? Ok, cool. Buuuut, someone felt the need to share and point this post out to my Dad. Say it with me guys, Awkwaaaaard!
I don’t share this post to blast the person who did it—but to put myself on blast and display. This 29 year old woman spent the entire night bawling her little eyes out and seriously contemplating taking down the previous post. It’s not that I am ashamed of the picture (the final pic of the photo shoot spread)– it’s the fact that someone felt the need to point it out to my FATHER! My honest thought process is that you would see the same amount of skin on me if I had a wedgie at the beach, but I don’t go with my dad or my family to the beach. We are pretty damned modest around each other and I didn’t want him to see it because he’s my dad and he’s not going to read what I’m saying and try to feel me or connect with my soul, he’s going to say, “Crap, I messed up—my daughter’s a whore!” I think the rule of Dads is that if your daughter’s ass is on the internet you’ve failed as a father. I respect that, rules is rules
I’m kind of laughing about this now because this is how I handle all obstacles in life. Underneath it all I understand the implications of what’s taking place. I have considered taking the picture down, but I can’t let go of what it represents. It will remain, and the art of it and the accompanying post will speak for itself. For those that called me courageous, please take it back. I am a wimp and I care way too much about what others think of me. As a result of the negative feedback, I almost immediately crawled back into that box that I am expected to live in and returned to my “good girl” status. Enduring the consequences of this post is not going to be easy but I will try to fight through it. Sorry to disappoint those who thought they knew me, but just know: even if I’ve gone completely crazy—I’m happy here.
I think the misconception about being brave or courageous is that you actually feel brave and courageous. I think people that are truly brave do what they feel is right even though they’re scared or unsure – that is what makes it brave, you faced your fears and did it anyway. That is hard, that’s why there are so few brave people that step outside of their comfort zone.
I’m just a bit disappointed in myself. I had a certain feeling of empowerment and completion, but now it’s gone. I don’t want to be one of those people that can only accept positive criticism, but when ppl don’t understand or especially get the opposite idea of what I’m trying to do I get frustrated and depressed about it. However, I am working on just letting my writing, ideas and concepts speak for themselves and to leave it be no matter the criticism. It’s not easy…
I ended up deleting the post from the FB page entirely. Dealing with the disapproval of my family erases any courage within me I thought I possessed. I wrote the post for those that would see the symbolism of the photo shoot and feel the emotion of what I’m writing as well as to free myself—but apparently for those that know me, the whole thing ended up being offensive and brought my character into question. I don’t know who wins in this *shrug*
You know how I feel, F**K those individuals who cant and won’t uplift someone else. I loved the photo shoot. It was and is courageous for anyone. You are far from a whore. I loved it and I love you.
Thank you! It was just something I felt compelled to do, I’m glad I did it– there will not be a repeat, lol