Resolutions? Hmm, not sure if we have time for them all. When you’re a mess there’s kind of a lot to cover.

• I want to lose weight go to the gym regularly. I don’t want to be thin, I just want to be hot. If I could flatten my stomach and tone my arms I would be the happiest girl, but the ex-husband dabbled in personal training enough for me to know that weight loss doesn’t exactly work like that. Anyway, to the gym I go—hopefully.

• I want to be better with money because I am absolutely over being poor. I want to be able to pay all of my bills and have the option of eating as well. For the most part my clinical depression manifests itself in my diet and social interactions—but SOME of my fiscal irresponsibility can be accredited to one of my many methods of self-medicating. I don’t know, sometimes it just feels good to BUY! That is, until I  check my account balance and I panic thinking I’m the victim of identity fraud. Nope! That was just me making stupid decisions again. I am actually awesome at creating budgets…I’m just not that good at sticking to them

• I also need to stop giving hot guys a pass. When I feel I have a connection with someone from the opposite sex it’s hard for me to DISconnect, because actually having a bond beyond the physical is so rare nowadays. But I have to be honest with myself and admit that when I feel I’ve connected with someone that gets my nether regions all juicy my bullshit tolerance level goes through the roof! This year, I want to be better at putting my foot down and not accepting half ass texts and dick pics as proper dating courtship.

• I need to write more. I spend a saddening amount of time literally staring into space and doing nothing. Which leads me to the next one:

• I need to try to be more present and focused. Sometimes while driving if I really like a song, I will close my eyes to feel the lyrics. As it turns out, that is not the safest way to go about things while operating a vehicle. I have to stop zoning out and I need to do so by doing things like: engaging, listening to people who are talking to me, and keeping my eyes open while driving, etc. I have to stop disappearing into my own world—even if it’s way more fun there!

• I also need to stop fantasizing about sex so much. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, lately. Maybe because I’ve sort of taken a stand against casual sex (I think, I don’t know) I keep thinking about it, which isn’t helpful. I’m considering qualifying touching myself as casual sex since it’s not like I’m following up and trying to nurture a relationship with myself either. I guess I’m just a hit it and quit it type of girl.
• I need to be more decisive.
• I need to take better care of my fingernails.
• I need to shave my body hair more often in between sexual partners.
• I need to stop using my unclean room as a shield to prevent me from having casual sex.
• I need to stop being so personal and gross on this blog.
• I need to work on my temper; and it’s fine to be open an honest but I need to stop being so abrasive.