I feel like each year I allow one person to get under my skin. There is always the one person that moves me for inexplicable reasons and I’m half in love— geekin’ over their very presence. Sighhhh, I was REALLY hoping it would be someone different this year. One stupid email exchange and I’m up at night lying awake in my lust and exploring possibilities. I hope he reads this so he knows it’s only wise to run.

I just want him—and that’s all I really know about it. I reached out to him under the guise of friendliness and he pushed the closed door slightly ajar. I then kicked it wide open spilling all of my residual feelings into the room, making a mess of things. What is it about this man? I feel I’ve written for this dude a hundred times and I still don’t have what it takes to keep his full attention. Falling back is the next logical option, but I’m not dealing with logic and reason. I’m wrestling with self-control as reckless desire envelopes me and I’m on fire with anticipation of what will eventually turn out to be nothing.

I need some discipline—
I want to let him in
I can taste it so sweet, just before the sour
But by daring to savor I relinquish my power

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