…is that I don’t really want to lose out on sleep
Or laying with you, pausing movies to crack jokes and sip beers
Or sacrifice any moment that brings your soft lips to my ears
I want the chatter of four year old volume
Can’t network or promote my writing without swallowing anxiety and valium
I want to help with homework
…make my relationship work
Bedtime early, sleeping late
the energy to kiss you and make pancakes
I want an impossible world of you, combined families and fulfilled dreams
I fear daily
I get to have none of those things
Without sacrificing too much of the other