6 Reasons You Can Totally and ABSOLUTELY Wear A Crop Top (if you want to)

**This is a sneak peak into my open mic set tonight!**

C Top

Even I absolutely and totally wear a crop top (when I want to)

 

6. Spanx (for that under belly action)

5. Men (if you care about their opinion at all) have short attention spans. They pay attention to the best parts of you and tend to ignore and forgive for the rest. Perk up the girls in a revealing top and fully enjoy that plate of nachos!

4. Flowy sweaters are equally forgiving of any weight transgressions and/or body flaws. If you’re not comfortable in your skin just YET and want to try the new crop top trend flowy sweaters are your friend!

3. You are not Kim Kardashian—you are You Jones (or whatever your last name is), your body is not your money maker (unless you’re a stripper then you are probably wearing a lot less than a crop top…)you don’t have to worry about being criticized and/or living up to the impossible beauty standards of some rich person married to Kanye West. You can’t afford surgery, and do you really want to do 2,000 sit ups a day when you can watch Love and Hip Hop while eating nachos? (Especially, the supreme kind with all the sour cream…)

2. Winnie the Pooh  has slayed in a cute little crop top with no pants for years.

1. The number one reason you can totally and absolutely wear a crop top (if you want to) is because life is best lived when you give less than (but not equal to) two shits about what anyone thinks about you and your body. Love it, dress it well, and be happy in it, dammit 🙂

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I Hate People/ Why I Stopped Following Rihanna on Instagram

WG's Embrace the Crazy

The truth of the matter is that I hate people. I probably shouldn’t say that—and there really is no way to say that without sounding like a douchebag but I really and truly do. The world is in competition with you whether you like it, or even notice it or not. Driving on the highway every morning is not me commuting to get to work—it is a race with everyone on the freaking Interstate—and it doesn’t seem to matter that we are all going to separate locations.

Perhaps the thing I hate most about people is that I am just like them. I am a people, too. I take the same amount of selfies, I care too much about what others think, I suck up to the boss, I laugh at things that more mean than they are funny, I am judgy, I lie, cheat and steal. Barf—I’m just really not feeling…

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#UNBOTHERED

Ayesha Curry recently shared her holy opinions on the lack of modesty in how women dress these days.

OK

As a person that is often opinionated about shit that has nothing to do with me, I completely get it. However, I think these series of tweets that rocked the world (for like, 3 seconds) were tweeted in poor taste. For one thing, as a basketball wife THOTS are your friend and you surely need to form some sort of alliance with them to keep them off of your man. I’m sure there are a few hundred basketball hoes that were like, “Awww cute family I won’t mess with that, lemme see what Klay Thompson is trying to get into…” Well, now that Ayesha has unleashed her judgmental beast, I doubt she’ll continue to get a pass…

However, the major thing for me, is that Ayesha failed to realize that her celebrity and her Christianity puts her above all of this bullshit. Why are you even tweeting? When I was at the peak of my goodie two shoes church girl life, I came to the quick realization that comparing yourself to others is always a bad move because you will always be perceived as condescending and holier than thou. Every.time.  In my opinion, the best thing to do when living your life as an example is to LIVE YOUR LIFE AS AN EXAMPLE! We see you, we know that you have an awesomely talented and handsome (to some) husband, beautiful family, Christian values and that you dress modestly. It is noticed and it is an example for those who choose to be positively influenced by it. Congratulations, you are not a thot—this is NOT brand new information. (S/n: I use the term thot loosely and humorously. I myself am a fan of the short skirt and low neckline—maybe I’m going a bit easy on myself but I don’t think that makes me a hoe or a thot. It’s just funny to say that the hoes are in revolt in response to Ayesha’s comments but, nah…not really)

Twitter Rant

Along with everyone else these days, Ayesha is so unbothered–and the only way to really know just how unbothered people really are is to read about them telling you so on social media (-_-).  Listen, not caring about something is simple and 100% of the time it includes NOT TALKING ABOUT IT! Ayesha, you totally lost me by even saying, “Regardless of if you like my “style of clothes” or not (which I don’t care) please do not tear women down or degrade them…Not cool peeps”.  Listen, these set of tweets were not a call to arms for women to stop shading other women. This is the response of a woman who clearly thinks she’s a little better and a little above the half naked hoes because of her chosen lifestyle AFTER being kicked down a few notches off her high horse. Call a spade a spade: some folks were talking about your style and it hurt your feelings so you lashed out and over explained yourself to people who don’t really care all that much at the end of the day. This was a subtweet and this was a clap back plain and simple.

Can I just say that if more than like 7 people actually read this blog and I had even an ounce of notoriety and fame I would not be clapping back at anybody. I get in my feelings a bunch over criticism and things people say but when you reach a certain level of celebrity you are absolutely obligated not to give any fucks whatsoever about the naysayers. I mean, most people follow you on social media based on your name not even who you are as a person. For me, this mini twitter rant was the equivalent of trying to argue with the internet trolls that randomly leave racist comments on YouTube videos—not worth it.

Yes words, thoughts, opinions and criticisms of others can be hurtful but we don’t have to give them power. Becoming truly unbothered takes practice, and it takes a lot of strength to accomplish but it can be done. For starters, it would seem that bringing up topics that you “don’t care” about and emphasizing your lack of caring would be counterproductive toward your overall goal. The very best thing you can ever do to express your disinterest in something is to take the high road and not even speak about it or waste time responding. Ex-boyfriend, baby Daddy, shady friend, exhausting co-worker, heated political discussion that’s going nowhere– I have nothing to say, I’m so unbothered.

Confessions of A Come Over and Chill Girl

We all guffaw at the memes and the very idea of the Netflix and chill concept but it seems no one is actually partaking in this phenomenon. Is it accurate to say that we are all laughing at it because we get it but don’t actually participate in it…?

Listen, I am more than happy to be the first one to step up and be real honest by saying: Hi, my name is WG and I am a come over and chill girl. As feminism friendly as we millennials pretend to be, I am sensing there is still a negative stigma surrounding the women who accept their favorite bottle of liquor and open themselves up to potential fondling while watching Straight Outta Compton bootleg edition. However, if you like someone AND you’re lazy— like myself— the concept of Netflix and chill sounds awesome!

Belted Skirt

She does not f*ck for free!

 

I suppose I am low maintenance to a fault and I never understood the whole “I don’t fuck for free mentality”. Hmm, if you fuck in exchange for goods and services doesn’t that make you a prostitute of sorts? With the way that dating has shifted these days; I see both sides and I can’t say that I blame men for not wanting to drop a buck at the nearest Ruth Chris steakhouse for a woman who will most likely pan out to be “nothing special”. OR, even for a woman you just want to use for sex. I spent plenty of time lamenting that men don’t like to take women on dates anymore—then I got over it and decided I could take myself out for a nice time while leaving the extortion out of it. If you really are trying to get to know someone specifically, sure dates are nice. But really if you are just fucking around (an dating multiples), who cares? I mean, Cuffing Season—come on! You don’t want a boyfriend, you want a warm blanket for the winter.

The Do’s and Don’ts of the Come Over and Chill

Don’t Overthink

StFu

When members of the opposite sex get together of course there’s a chance that sex will take place but it doesn’t have to if you don’t want it. Contrary to popular belief, men are not savages that simply have no self-control once they become sexually aroused. What if I told you; it is possible to hang out in a home environment with a member of the opposite sex and NOT sleep with them?! As long as you are sure to…

Netflix and Know

…the person that you’re hanging out with. There is always a possibility that the situation could escalate physically so you want to be sure you are hanging out with the kind of guy that understands that no means NO. I will admit that my first date with current beau was a “chill and hangout” situation that actually could have ended really badly for me. I didn’t know this guy and it was a stupid and pretty dangerous thing to do. I am fully aware that my story could have ended a lot differently and I could be dead. In retrospect, I see the value of a few meetups beforehand (maybe coffee or ice cream) before traipsing over to someone’s house all willy nilly.

*Of course, true psychopaths live among us and have no problem pretending not to be crazy until the time is right to murder you unsuspectingly. That’s why life in general is a crapshoot of horrible stuff that could possibly happen to you but—you know, YOLO, or whatever.

 

DO Invite Friends

Because why not? Looking back on some of the “situationships” I’ve had, I really wish I had taken more ownership and had more control over how the bonding progressed. I felt as if I lived by a rulebook that in actuality does not exist. There are no rules, just the loud opinions and social pressure from others. Meeting the friends and family is no longer a big deal. Maybe it’s just me, but my friends know the difference between someone I’m just hanging out with and someone who is serious. The “What are your intentions with my friend?” scenario is not realistic if everyone is just there to have a great time. If he is SO repulsed by the idea of a group hangout that he chooses not to participate…ok. You can still have a good time with your friends!

DO Wear Decent Underwear

20 MinsBecause you never know…

DON’T Over Accommodate

Yes you can come over, let’s order takeout, go Dutch and be merry! However, you are not my dude and I am not cooking you dinner nor am I fixing you a plate. Do not try to throw me into a domestic situation and expect me to be submissive to you prematurely. It’s fine to take care of a man, but I don’t ever like to feel like I’m auditioning to be someone’s girlfriend. Especially, since folks these days will let you prepare gourmet meals, rub feet and give bomb bjs then proceed to never contact you again.

 

DO Get A Fucking Babysitter

I say that with such force because it’s just the right thing to do! In my savage days I didn’t always do this, and yes my kids are in bed by 8:30 and they always sleep through the night but still it’s the principle. No need to follow in my footsteps and be a total ratchet—though it is hard for single mothers to find time for freaky stuff much less actually just watching a movie. Here is the key: even your friends who don’t like children at all are usually willing to do you a solid every once in a while so that you can enjoy the company of a fine man and potentially get some D. If you take your kids over to your friend’s house already fed and in pajamas SECONDS away from bedtime, then watching them is a piece of cake for anyone.

 

DO Make an Effort

Yes, I’m lazy and after work I don’t feel like REshowering (I JUST showered like 9 hours ago!), beating my face and slipping on my best spanx and most expensive looking dress from Forever 21. However, I try my best not to be just plain sloppy in a COAC situation. The safest route, I find, is workout clothes and some “natural” makeup. Yoga pants are awesome and make your ass look great and most workout clothes are pretty sexy, but moveable enough in case you have to run for your life and/or whoop someone’s ass. (I can’t stress enough that psychos DO exist!)

 

DON’T Let Bougie Friends Kill Your Vibe

Chilling with a dude and watching movies at either of your places is what it is: comfortable, fun and a way to save money. There are women that abhor this type of thing and go on and on about how they have so many dates a week with such and such at insert fancy restaurant here. Good for them—I’m just not that girl, and it is ok not to be. It’s such a strange culture where we place so much monetary value on our worth as people, yet we accept ambiguous relationships and side chick statuses. The truth of the matter is, if a man really wants to build something with you or is full of shit or just having a good time it will be clear whether he spends $200 on you or nothing. If you ever get to the point where you’re over it and feel like you are being used for sex and access to of every episode of Breaking Bad there’s nothing wrong with speaking up.

South Park

Make Netflix and Chill beneficial for YOU, no dude has ever died from abstaining!

 

My entire philosophy for the come over and chill is that it should always be a situation that is beneficial for YOU. I’ve turned down COAC’s before simply because I was simply too lazy to clean my house! In addition to that, I’ve gotten emotionally attached to men who just came over to “kick it” because we ended up spending so much time together vibing and sharing with each other. At that point the conversation was had “Are we kickin’ it, or are we committing to something more?”

Men are only humans and we sometimes allow their actions to have way too much control over how we view and treat ourselves. We don’t like rejection so we walk on eggshells and choose not to confront the questions and issues we may have concerning them. It’s not worth it to “chill” with someone for months on end and think of yourself in relationship purgatory because you are too afraid to ask to go out on a real date. Netflix and chill has been adulterated into an activity that a man can use to keep a woman on a string without spending money on her and committing to a relationship. Let’s go back to it’s origins and the true meaning of what it’s all about: a lazy and cheap good time, and maybe some drunken fondling if the opportunity arises.

I’m just a simple, old-fashioned girl–what can I say?