The truth of the matter is that I hate people. I probably shouldn’t say that—and there really is no way to say that without sounding like a douchebag but I really and truly do. The world is in competition with you whether you like it, or even notice it or not. Driving on the highway every morning is not me commuting to get to work—it is a race with everyone on the freaking Interstate—and it doesn’t seem to matter that we are all going to separate locations.

Perhaps the thing I hate most about people is that I am just like them. I am a people, too. I take the same amount of selfies, I care too much about what others think, I suck up to the boss, I laugh at things that more mean than they are funny, I am judgy, I lie, cheat and steal. Barf—I’m just really not feeling…