I am not a traditional feminist so I’m not really raising my hands to any independent woman anthems. More likely I can be found searching for the nearest dude to help me dig the snow from underneath my car but that is just who I choose to be.
However, as a single mom that doesn’t always have a dude around to help, I understand the importance and necessity of independence. In some cases, perhaps women are going out of their way to prove “what we can do”, in others, maybe we are just forced to do our own thing because men are so busy boo loving and bromancing each other to care what we are doing or help us out anyway.
If I could film a montage of my life, about 20% of it would be doors literally slamming in my face because the man who walked in just before me didn’t bother to hold it open, or a series of conversations being interrupted by bros who want to bro it out with each other and simply can’t wait for me to finish my sentence. Bros before hoes—we GET it! But what if it’s not a hoe? What about your little sister? What about your co-worker who is a nice girl that’s maybe a little naïve and could use some gentle advice? Or the old lady that needs help with groceries, OR, OR, OR— I could go on all day! These days, it seems like women are only potential pussy and THAT’S when a man is (sometimes) willing to take care of her needs.
This generation of men is not how it used to be, either. There used to be a special regard for not only your mom but women in general. Men used to offer seats, open doors and even stand when a woman walks into the room. Now I just kind of feel like a piece of meat more often than not. If I’m not looking pretty enough or showing enough cleavage my customer service experience is shot to hell. There are some ladies that know what I mean—yes, indeed I get dressed up to take my car to the shop otherwise I will be completely ignored and possibly ripped off.
Being a lady is not simply being granted respect because you are the owner of a shiny, precious vagina anymore—it involves being attractive and having something to offer to a man in exchange for a tire change, help with bags or a dinner out (although I do see the man’s pov when it comes to always paying for dates). I’d love to lean on men for the little things in life! I would love to proudly stand by a man’s side as he accomplishes his dreams, I have no problem with that. It is not my intention to brag and have the “anything you can do I can do better” mentality but shit—since I’m forced to do it anyway I may as well own it. Do men really even care about women’s independence and capabilities across the board—or are they too busy loving on their homies and showing them love, affection and support to even be paying us attention? Fine, I’ll work hard and achieve my own damned dreams– I don’t have to be by your side. AND don’t even GET me started on how Bottom Bitch culture has possibly ruined the woman’s desire to be that chick to see a man’s dreams to fruition, anyway. What is the incentive for being soft and submissive and loyal and dependent? Giving up all of your own dreams, get none of the credit for the man’s success and get dumped for someone “prettier” with a phatter ass, lighter skin and longer hair that hasn’t loved them through their lowest points? I’m good on that, no thank you.
Maybe our declaration of independence is a cry for help—nay—a call to arms for men to get back to treating us the way generations before us were used to being treated. Make us a priority again– not just significant others but all women in general. I’ll make room for you by my side and together we can get this money and realize our dreams.
I’m just saying…