I stumbled into the elevator at my place of work, avoiding eye contact with the other riders and praying no one bothered me by talking. No such luck. I receive a cheerful good morning greeting from a co-worker and was asked that dreaded question, “How are you?” I wanted to answer “fine” and keep it moving, but smudges from last night’s make up and my poorly put together outfit was silently screaming the contrary. I was tired—so I yawned defeatedly and admitted as much. As the laws of small talk mandate, he then continued the conversation by mentioned that Arianna Huffington is actually on a crusade, touring college campuses even, preaching on the benefits and the value of a good night’s sleep.
Where Do You Want Me to Put It?
Thanks for the advice Arianna, but I remain skeptical, though I agree with the theory 100%. I believe that our culture of #teamnosleep is absolutely idiotic, and I used to laze away my weekends on social media with wine glass in hand, laughing at the all the #onmygrind posts. Well, good for them—meanwhile, I was #onmycouch resting and relaxing and enjoying time away from my 9 to 5. Fast forward to today and yes, I am on still on my couch but I am also on my laptop writing 1 of 3 blog posts, writing poetry for collaboration projects, plotting out my marketing schedule and trying to put together pieces for an upcoming event I am planning. I am working for myself, yes but I’m still WORKING! All of this wonderful extra sleep that I need in my life that will increase my productivity, appearance and overall life enjoyment—where do you want me to put it?
One thing I am discovering is that in the DMV area, for every hour you are inactive—doing frivolous things like sleeping, eating, enjoying time with friends, etc – you are missing out on opportunities. The very sad thing is that I don’t have an end game…I am not necessarily looking for national fame, I will settle for (as Kevin Hart would say) being a Local Ass Bitch, but even in that pursuit it takes a monumental amount of time and effort. The boyfriend works 18 jobs so we are always stealing pockets of time together, while time with the kids is condensed to weekends only and I’m spending a good amount of that time struggling to stay awake or sleeping while they are at play. (I actually just dozed a little in the middle of writing this. It was glorious…) I am convinced that this is life—I have officially and reluctantly joined #TeamNoSleep; somebody shoot me.
The Problem with Celebrity Advice
…is that it’s well-meaning but not always practical. I have not read the book (The Sleep Revolution: Transforming Your Life One Night At a Time), but I do know that Arianna spent years and years building her empire before a bout of sleep deprivation caused her to pass out and hit her face on a desk on the way down. Perhaps if this had happened in the midst of her establishing her career and reputation it wouldn’t have had such a major impact and caused this crusade, nay this REVOLUTION! I mean, the way I am living my life now I would consider a head injury a minor inconvenience and have to keep it moving, because once you stop or take a break, even for a moment, people will forget you in a heartbeat.
I know that I am no good when I am rushing and when I am sleep deprived but I really don’t have a choice. Once I made the decision to attempt to pursue my writing goals, I signed a deal with the devil not for my soul but for my time (which is about the same value!) I am perpetually tired and cranky and I admit it: I am a little discouraged. Maybe single moms don’t get to carve out our own individuality outside of our children. Maybe raising and loving my children is the only thing I am called to do and in my late forties I can pursue outside dreams– you know, if I don’t get hit by a bus tomorrow.
I don’t know—it’s just rough trying to maintain Super Momdom, financial stability, figure, romantic relationship etc without enough time in the day and it always seems like a toss up. Maybe my writing/poetry career WILL take off, but I’ll also be morbidly obese and have terrible bags under my eyes and my kids will hate me for never being around. Where is the balance? IS it too much to ask to be hot and talented and successful? Can a bitch have it all?
Sighhhh, I really don’t have any answers. Needless to say, I am open to any tips or ideas you would like to share! In the meantime, can someone loan me $30.00 so I can buy this stupid book…?