I didn’t make a vegetable to go with dinner tonight. I get home too late to really make anything decent, so hamburgers with a box of cheesy noodles just had to do. It was bedtime before they finished their last bites. I’m very tired.

But Beyonce says that having children gives you purpose. Perhaps I would feel that more if I had nannies to help me balance out my life. I’d have a car to bring them to me when I got off work. We would snuggle up and chill together when they got home because Chef would have already cooked and homework would be done. I would tuck them in and later that evening zip off to events. I’d have it all…

Perhaps my purpose is constant fatigue. Or maybe worrying that my sole purpose in life is single motherhood and doubt. 

I made a pot roast that the 5 year old wouldn’t eat. Three hours of traffic every day makes me irritable. I don’t remember what it feels like to not be exhausted. Beyonce is having twins.