Tag Archives: christianity

Great Expectations

Posted on by under The Crazy

I sent a group text the other day to my family telling them the great news that FINALLY I was a published author. I live in reality, I know that I am self-published and it’s not exactly the same hoopla that comes with picking up an agent and being funded by a large publishing company, but still, yay me! My siblings were congratulatory, my parents remained silent. It was the first stone—felt like I swallowed it and could feel it travel down my esophagus and weigh down on my belly.

I saw them later that day, and I know my mother is the type to have cupcakes, say congratulations and ask questions—but when I got to their house it was business as usual. My parents are not villains. I had to pull my eldest daughter out of her former school, I can’t afford before and after care by myself so she now lives with them during the weekdays attending their neighborhood school as well as my four-year old daughter. My parents are not villains. They give me groceries when I am poor and encourage me to go to mental health counseling and provide me with plenty of scripture as advice.

My parents are not villains—they just don’t like the person that I have become. This divorced, formerly broken, independent and kind of whacky woman is not anyone they want to hug or congratulate or give a slap on the back. She is a little broken and way too open. She is not Christian enough; and I know that it bothers them that they can’t quite tell whether I’m going to heaven or hell. Well I don’t really know either, and I had to come to a place and take a moment to stop fretting about it. I’ve had to force myself to slow down and learn to be happy and accepting and to take life one day at a time. And as for this day, I am proud of myself because I never thought I would be here. If you had asked me where I would be at this time 5 years ago I would have said, “Lying in the fetal position on the floor of a psych ward contemplating where my life went so wrong.” I have exceeded my own expectations and I am going to bask in the glory of this moment even if it kills me to smile and I have to do it through faltering lips.

In spite of the men that didn’t value me enough to treat me with respect and dignity…

In spite of what I used to lay awake at night telling myself…

In spite of how the “Christians” may view me and my life choices…

In spite of rejection from the people I desire support from the most…

Ijustwanttowrite

 

 

I am here. And I will continue to shut out the voices of the doubters and unbelievers in order to do the thing that makes me happy. I just want to write.

Click here, to find out more and/or purchase my new chapbook Trigger: A Downward Spiral.

#UNBOTHERED

Posted on by under The Crazy

Ayesha Curry recently shared her holy opinions on the lack of modesty in how women dress these days.

OK

As a person that is often opinionated about shit that has nothing to do with me, I completely get it. However, I think these series of tweets that rocked the world (for like, 3 seconds) were tweeted in poor taste. For one thing, as a basketball wife THOTS are your friend and you surely need to form some sort of alliance with them to keep them off of your man. I’m sure there are a few hundred basketball hoes that were like, “Awww cute family I won’t mess with that, lemme see what Klay Thompson is trying to get into…” Well, now that Ayesha has unleashed her judgmental beast, I doubt she’ll continue to get a pass…

However, the major thing for me, is that Ayesha failed to realize that her celebrity and her Christianity puts her above all of this bullshit. Why are you even tweeting? When I was at the peak of my goodie two shoes church girl life, I came to the quick realization that comparing yourself to others is always a bad move because you will always be perceived as condescending and holier than thou. Every.time.  In my opinion, the best thing to do when living your life as an example is to LIVE YOUR LIFE AS AN EXAMPLE! We see you, we know that you have an awesomely talented and handsome (to some) husband, beautiful family, Christian values and that you dress modestly. It is noticed and it is an example for those who choose to be positively influenced by it. Congratulations, you are not a thot—this is NOT brand new information. (S/n: I use the term thot loosely and humorously. I myself am a fan of the short skirt and low neckline—maybe I’m going a bit easy on myself but I don’t think that makes me a hoe or a thot. It’s just funny to say that the hoes are in revolt in response to Ayesha’s comments but, nah…not really)

Twitter Rant

Along with everyone else these days, Ayesha is so unbothered–and the only way to really know just how unbothered people really are is to read about them telling you so on social media (-_-).  Listen, not caring about something is simple and 100% of the time it includes NOT TALKING ABOUT IT! Ayesha, you totally lost me by even saying, “Regardless of if you like my “style of clothes” or not (which I don’t care) please do not tear women down or degrade them…Not cool peeps”.  Listen, these set of tweets were not a call to arms for women to stop shading other women. This is the response of a woman who clearly thinks she’s a little better and a little above the half naked hoes because of her chosen lifestyle AFTER being kicked down a few notches off her high horse. Call a spade a spade: some folks were talking about your style and it hurt your feelings so you lashed out and over explained yourself to people who don’t really care all that much at the end of the day. This was a subtweet and this was a clap back plain and simple.

Can I just say that if more than like 7 people actually read this blog and I had even an ounce of notoriety and fame I would not be clapping back at anybody. I get in my feelings a bunch over criticism and things people say but when you reach a certain level of celebrity you are absolutely obligated not to give any fucks whatsoever about the naysayers. I mean, most people follow you on social media based on your name not even who you are as a person. For me, this mini twitter rant was the equivalent of trying to argue with the internet trolls that randomly leave racist comments on YouTube videos—not worth it.

Yes words, thoughts, opinions and criticisms of others can be hurtful but we don’t have to give them power. Becoming truly unbothered takes practice, and it takes a lot of strength to accomplish but it can be done. For starters, it would seem that bringing up topics that you “don’t care” about and emphasizing your lack of caring would be counterproductive toward your overall goal. The very best thing you can ever do to express your disinterest in something is to take the high road and not even speak about it or waste time responding. Ex-boyfriend, baby Daddy, shady friend, exhausting co-worker, heated political discussion that’s going nowhere– I have nothing to say, I’m so unbothered.