Here Comes the Pain

It’s the beginning part that I fear. It’s always the worst few months of pain, and I find myself wanting to scream out loud to drown the maddening sound of my thoughts. It feels like a form of dying and I just have to get past the hump of those few months and I know I’ll be ok.

A force field will form over me and I will become numb, drifting through life alone and somehow being able to forget that I’m lonely. I will sleep long and dream empty but I won’t feel anymore and it will be beautiful. I wish I could skip ahead to that day but for now: here comes the pain…