Don’t fake it until you make it! If at any point you find yourself serving “Shut The Fucupcakes” you may need to find a corner alone to meditate/woosah
Focus Your Empathy
None of us are in the best position here, even the most introverted and anti-social. Two things people enjoy, freedom and the company of others, are being regulated by the government for reasons most of us completely understand but also: this sucks. My personal theory, is that the 24hour news cycles, along with the constant barrage of GoFundMes and social media timelines filled with sob stories related to the pandemic is exhausting our empathy. With technology helping us to foster the feeling of global connection, is there a chance it could it also be draining our empathic resources for use in our personal lives?
If after reading and saturating with surreal news all day your only desire is curl into a ball and stare aimlessly or cry– then imagine the stress of what others under your roof are feeling? From your boo, to the kids, to the dog, there is a crackling of nervous energy and lifestyle change that is effecting every single living thing under your roof right now.
Are you allowing others to process stress in their own ways or are you so busy processing your own thoughts and feelings that you haven’t paid attention to how others might be coping?
What are some ways you can actively express or exhibit empathy to others in your household?
Finding Out What You Need
During times of stress I either shut down or I go into worker bee mode. Neither of these tactics deal with the issue at hand or are a direct solution to whatever my needs are at the moment. Recently, when I feel tension finding it’s familiar home in the furrow of my brow, I’ve gotten into the habit of asking myself internally: what is it that I need right now?
Every time I ask this question I’ve been surprised by how simple the answers have been. Sometimes a bitch just needs a hug, or an encouraging word or some time alone to think and process. A lot of what we need is inside of ourselves so we really have more control over external situations than we believe because we are built with the tools to be able to rescue and empower ourselves. Having needs from other people is also a valid need, albeit more difficult to ask for because there is the possibility that the other person is unable to meet our needs and dealing with a “No” always feels like rejection. Because it is…but that’s ok.
The purpose of assessing your personal needs during times of stress is to become more in tune and intentional about methods to self soothe, and it separates your own anxiety from the anxiety of others you may be carrying with you. Life happens to us at an accelerated rate, how often do we stop to take a moment to think about how our needs have changed and how to go about making the adjustments to accommodate those changes? The first step is to find out by taking at least a moment to examine what your needs are, especially for parents and caretakers who are so used to meeting the needs of others without even a thought of their own. It’s ok to think about or jot down your specific needs to help relieve your stress and to begin to brainstorm solutions even if they are not immediate.